One of my favorite ways to look back at the past year is with 10Q whose slogan is: Reflect. React. Renew. Life's Biggest Questions. Answered By You.
Rereading my 10Q answers from last year and answering the first question, of 2011 I see that my focus has shifted completely. A year ago I was searching for something--a purpose. Wanting more from my life, I decided to go back to school to study nutrition (or medicine). I wanted my life to be slightly different than it was.
A month ago my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and my perspective changed completely. Instead of wishing for a slightly different life, now I want to cling desperately to life as I know it now with my family. I am heartbroken by the news that someone so close to me is so sick but I am also amazed that this sad news would allow me to be more content person at the same time that I am devastated.
Last spring my cat was diagnosed with lymphoma. She spent the summer at the vet and returned to us this fall. I have to give her steroids every morning and chemo three times a week. Thin and frail with a sharp bony back my cat is now lying on my kitchen floor looking not that bad. The chemo and steroids seem to be working. I can hear my mother rolling her eyes over the phone wondering out loud why we don't put her to sleep, but right before she got sick she caught a mouse. When the vet told us she had cancer and we had to make a decision about whether to put her to sleep my husband said "She did catch that mouse."
It is massively inconvenient to have a sick cat and it is heartbreaking to face illness. But these challenges bring a reflection to my life and make me realize how lucky I am. The irony is that even in health my cat was pretty unfriendly and somehow in sickness she is a nicer cat.
Life is a rollercoaster and I don't blog as much lately. Forgive me. My "never a dull moment" life has really made me step away from my computer to be with my family--and my cat.
Happy New Year and visit 10Q now so you can remember today before next year is upon us.